A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
