we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
