i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
