walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
