You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
