I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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