He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
