Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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