We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
