so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
