I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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