If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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