Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize