Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
