You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
