1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
