the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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