in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize