Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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