Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
