If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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