Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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