Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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