there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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