I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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