dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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