yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
