I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i drank out of a bidet.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize