I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
