If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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