Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
