I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
only you would photoshop your dick
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I have fence marks all over my body
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
