That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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