i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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