i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
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Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
