I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Are my feet made of real feet?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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