She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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