Me. At least after what I've been through.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
