I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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