what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Houston, we have a squirter
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
