There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
