like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
