Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
