come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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