we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
