The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
