You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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