New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
