do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Let's get the cat blown out
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
