i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
