brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
