Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
