Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
try to milk me bitch
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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