My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
