Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
