we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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